If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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