This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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