you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
