the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
