hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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