I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
