you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
