this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
