Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
