STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
