So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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