Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
