you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
