he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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