hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
