just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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