So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
