Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
