If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
