Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
