yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
