using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
