You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Please don't give away my fajitas
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