My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You can't special order awesome
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
