Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
it glows. i had to have it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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