with your own penis?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
