i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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