I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
