After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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