He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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