I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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