grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
