am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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