Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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