New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
