I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
