wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
