operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
