i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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