i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
