Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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