You can't motorboat a personality
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
