alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Even my vagina gasped.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
