before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
