i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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