So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
