Screwed.edu
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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