she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
