My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
