I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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