the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
