The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
MIDGETS
????
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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