And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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